girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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