How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
