now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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