It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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