Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
honey bunches of taint.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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