Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
