My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize