That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
