Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize