Kiss
Puke
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Randomize
