dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
