There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
