meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize