Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're a waste of cheezeits
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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