Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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