; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
