Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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