dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
