at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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