Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
