the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
