Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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