the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she told me i tasted like america
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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