Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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