Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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