Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
