new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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