What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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