is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
