Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Randomize
