your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
