i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im six kinds of drunk right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
