Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
