Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize