We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Someone signed my nipple.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
