Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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