just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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