ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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