Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize