Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
