my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
