break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
