i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
