This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize