oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
