was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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