If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize