you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
