Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
