There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
