You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
