Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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