my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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