its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
