census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize