well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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