No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
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