i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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