I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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