just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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