I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
