absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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