Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
