Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
